Girl Talk: Federal Election Party Time!

Girl Talk: Federal Election Party Time!
How to host an election-night soiree.

By Liz Burke

Taking a more Martha Stewart (meets Paris Hilton) than Margaret Thatcher approach to an otherwise bland election, I’ve taken on the role of GWAS in-house election party planning pundit (warning/preemptive apology: more extremely lame puns follow).

As you peel away from the polling booths tomorrow, it will be time to put the campaign to rest and hit the champagne trail! No matter where you place your preferences, we can all raise a glass to our “fair dinkum” democracy, or, if nothing else, to see those irritating jingles and slogans dead, buried, and cremated. Hey, I’ll drink to that!

Here are some tips for the perfect election cocktail party to get you “moving forward” into the next term of government in style. My election party action contract.

The Cocktail Caucus*

To set the theme of the evening, start building the cocktail revolution by putting a timely twist on the classic favourite of any woman in power, the Cosmopolitician!

Also on the ministerial menu, add home brew heavyweights FranJuliaco and the MarTony, and spice things up with the feisty Tabasco-fueled Ruddy Mary.

To help make up your mind (or relieve it!) the Ballot-cardi Breezer and straight up Voteka always go down with satisfaction. And for something a little stronger to get through the tough issues, there’s Chamborder-protection and the Long Island Iced Timor.

To complete the cocktail cabinet shake-up, a sustainable range of alco-population is recommended to quench your Family Thirst.

Of course in this post-GFC economic environment, don’t be afraid to stamp BYO on the invitations. You can’t feel obligated to supply everything to your guests, especially since we could be walloped with a huge wining tax! Considering outstanding deficit, drinks may need to be supplied by members of the electorate.

Real Action Activities

If you're up for some Real Action, go with party games like the always entertaining Poll dancing. Swing dance for the undecided, and 'Pin the tail on the donkey voter'.

And don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about snacks. Try adding some (Annabel) Crabb canap├ęs to your party portfolio. Accompanied by a shot of Lati-quila (Bourke), they’re guaranteed to be food for thought, discussion and analysis. Some special Bob Brownies would also go down a treat.

Recovery Stimulus Package

If in the unfortunate case you pull up post-party feeling like you’re “not out of the woods yet,” whether it’s because the outcome has left you sobbing into your hair-of-the-dog VB (Voter’s Brew), or your night went awry like a government that lost its way, be sure to have some Canberroca on hand to avoid a hung-over parliament.

Who said politics had to be boring? Get on the (boat)phone and start planning your election night celebration, or at least a toast to the lucky country!

More party planning suggestions are, of course, welcome.

*If you’re proposing a sustainable night, not a big night followed by a Maxine McSpew, perhaps Rooty beer could be your drink of choice to fuel a good old fashioned town-hall style tally-hoe-down! Of course, any good hostess would supply alternative non-alcoholic beverages, such as Cabinet Cordial, for those not interested in shilly-shallying around.

Yours truly,
Liz @ Girl With a Satchel


Talia Cain said...

I can't beat to celebrate on Saturday night, it all seems too drab. Take me back to '07.

Talia Cain said...

I mean to say "can't bear!". Freudian slip with 'beat'? Argh. I'll be the one eating my body weight in chocolate oreos.

See you all on the flipside.

Lizzie said...

This was hilarious and very well written. Thanks Liz!

Digella said...

Oh that post is soooo good!

I was considering an election party at home. Now it is a MUST.

Off to plan now.

Niki M said...

Oh my! I'm always a sucker for clever puns and this post has satieted my appetite for at least the next week :)
Loved it!