Mags: Teen Vogue's superslim ideal

In her October issue editor's letter, Amy Astley takes aim and fires at L.A.'s glamour girls – namely, those who partake in a little plastic surgery action – with reference to the mag's 'Hot Topic' feature of the month, 'Faking It'...

"The bland sameness of what passes for L.A. glamour is worse than boring – it's hazardous to mental health! Witness the clonelike armies of perma-tanned, hair-extensioned, pillow-lipped, breast-implanted superskinnies that many of us measure our appearance against. Hollywood's version of beautiful and sexy seems to embody one aesthetic – and women of all ages, from Heidi Montag and Ashlee Simpson to Pam Anderson (okay, she invented the look), contort what nature gave them to conform to the prevailing standard. But really, what is sexy about doing unnatural things to your body in pursuit of looking like everyone else?"

But while Teen Vogue clearly disapproves of the tacky-glamour aesthetic popular in L.A., it's only too happy to endorse its own aesthetic ideal – one that's arguably harder to attain and places more strain on the 'mental health' of young women. It's one thing to be "superskinny" with fake boobs (bad) but apparently it's entirely different to be plain "superskinny". And white (unless you are Chanel Iman). And WASP-like. And tall, too, if you please. The generic beauty ideal that Teen Vogue serves up for readers month after month via its fashion, beauty and even 'real girl' editorials certainly eschews the well-endowed (Vogue is no place for boobs – fake or real; suppress your womanhood like a good girl, an androgynous, svelte 13-year-old boy figure is what you want – just look at Anna Wintour, Carine Roitfeld and Astley herself). Here are some of the Vogue-approved girls to feature elsewhere this issue...

Actress Hayley Bennett reminds me a little of Blake Lively (who also gets TV's nod – though it's Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester who features this month) and seems to be enjoying the sun on her alabaster skin. Thin. White. WASP.

And here we have a typical Teen Vogue model. Thin. White. Tall. WASP.

And Agyness Deyn, of course. Thin. White. Tall. WASP.

Even this super-slim 'super fan', who interned with Phillip Lim, fits the Teen Vogue mould (though she could be Jewish – diversity!).

Admittedly, Teen Vogue is ostensibly trying to convey a positive message in 'Faking It', despite its undercurrent of WASPy clones: "There's no doubt that feeling insecure about your looks can be difficult to deal with," writes Jane Shin Park, "but plastic surgery shouldn't be seen as a quick-fix solution... start making improvements from the inside out." And it has gone to the effort of including Zooey Deschanel, Taylor Momsen, Ellen Page, Lily Allen and America Ferrera in a 'Unique Starlets' side-panel (one Hispanic with hips – check!). But the message is still loud and clear: in the great white world of Vogue, it's survival of the slimmest... and boobless.

Yours truly,
Girl With a Satchel

Books: Sloane ranger

Warning: reading this book may result in serious pony-buying contemplation. Not the Polo Ralph Lauren type, though. Oh, no. I'm talking My Little Ponies. Don't blame me if you wind up in Kmart toying with the idea of spending $9.95 on said plastic Pony. After deliberating between Stardust, Sweetie Belle, Starsong, Rainbow Dash and Star Catcher (you're erring on the side of Sweetie Belle) and reasoning that you are a child of the 80s, making owning a My Little Pony practically a birthright (okay, maybe when you were 10 – but now you have money! And you can have any Pony you want!), you'll glance at the 'For ages 3 and up' recommendation on the packaging and feel a twinge of embarrassment. What are you doing here? What on earth is possessing you – other than perhaps some suppressed desire to reconnect with your childhood self and a time when things were safe and life was simple – to consider adorning your office space with a Pony?

Sloane Crosley's book of essays I Was Told There'd Be Cake, that's what.

You see, Crosley has a drawer full of toy ponies (in her kitchen), the result of a quip she frequently inserts into everyday speech ("Coffee, tea, a pony?"), which morphed into her standard dating line: "I have something for you," a guy will say on our first date. "Is it a pony?" No. It's usually a movie ticket or his cell phone number or a slobbery tongue kiss. But on our second date, if I ask again, I'm pretty sure I'm getting a pony. And this the pony drawer came to be. It's uncomfortable to admit, but almost every guy I have ever dated has unwittingly made a contribution to the stable."

It's this kind of quirkiness, along with poetic glimpses into her life as a New Yorker/publicist's assistant/museum volunteer/part-time vegetarian/maker of chocolate dessert tarts/girlfriend of a pot smoker/daughter of semi-detached parents/child of the 80s/Jewish girl on Christian camp, that makes her work so endearing and entertaining. She's like a literary Woody Allen trapped in the body of a pretty 29-year-old from the monied side of the block (Westchester, to be precise). The willing display of her flaws (she admits to being insufferably selfish), her social failings, the way her generally good intentions go astray, her vulnerable-girl-child-beneath-smart-girl-exterior quality and her cynical, though sometimes romantic, take on New York life make her extremely likeable as a writer.

I particularly enjoyed 'The Ursula Cookie', her essay on the book publishing boss who turned nasty and methodically depleted her self-esteem to the point where everyday was miserable: "Some people do yoga in the morning; Ursula gave looks so stern I believe she burned calories creating them... I was so petrified of messing up that the fear blocked all my memory pores. It didn't take long for me to become precisely what she thought I was: a lousy assistant." After presenting Ursula with a good-will cookie made in her likeness ("Later I found out that she gave it to her daughter, who ate the whole thing and spontaneously threw up from all the sweetness. After that, Ursula and I stopped speaking altogether."), the chapter concludes with Crosley resigning on the day after 9/11... and you sighing with relief.

All the pop cultural references (The Blair Witch Project; How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days; Ghostbusters; Twin Peaks; Care Bears; Jurassic Park; Belinda Carlisle; Starburst; Crocodile Dundee) will please 80s babies, any girl who's suffered for a bride will love 'You on a stick', and you'll likely get a laugh out of 'Smell This' (think poo on the carpet), while Aussie readers will get an added kick from 'Bastard Out Of Westchester', where she recalls the time when her family was planning to move to Sydney (they didn't):

"I wanted to be an Australian as soon as humanly possible. I went on a self-designed immersion program(me). I started watching tapes of post-Kylie Minogue/pre-Natalie Imbruglia Neighbours, an Australian soap opera popular in the UK for its mind-numbing cliffhanger plots... This sugar-and-spice programming was in peculiar contrast to Australian Vogue, which boasted bare breasts both in the articles and the advertisements. Not to mention the Australian teen magazines. Thanks to a publication called Girlfriend, I know what "pashing" is. Girlfriend was incredibly informative. I found my new Australian best friends to be fun loving, occasionally nude, perpetually tan, devilishly into neon pink thongs, and frank about yeast infections. They were intimidatingly self-actualized."

I wonder what she will think of Kath & Kim?

Order I Was Told There'd Be Cake online at amazon.com. Order your My Little Pony at whateveryouwant.com.au.

Yours truly,
Girl With a Satchel (and a My Little Pony)

Girl Talk: Media body obsession

Watching Home and Away with my five-year-old niece this past week, I found myself having to answer a question about 'why the girl is putting food in her bin', as one of the characters (Melody) has an eating disorder (amongst a slew of other psychological problems ostensibly caused by her control-freak mother). Oi vey. Just prior to that episode airing, there was also a story on Today Tonight about celebrity weight-loss techniques (diets are a favoured TT topic, as is cosmetic surgery, supermarket savings and penny-pinching pensioners).

In addition, the new 90210 and its cast of skinny-minis (photographed eating this past week – great PR idea!), Rachel Zoe's new TV show (which clearly shows how undernourishing one's body can cause anxiety issues), Keira Knightley's recent red-carpet appearances and the international fashion shows have put size-0 right back on the agenda, while celebrity mums continue to flaunt their impossibly thin post-natal figures, much to the delight of the gossip mags and disdain of columnist (and new mum) Mia Freedman. Britney's new body (see Who magazine's 'Back In the Zone') also continues to attract press, as do Madonna and Gwyneth for their grueling daily exercise regimes.

The latest issue of gossip mag NW bears the cover lines: 'YOU'RE TOO FAT FOR TV' and 'Jessica Alba's Post-Baby Body', while Famous gives us: 'Celebs' True Weights Exposed!', a four-page feature story that tells us how much Victoria Beckham, Jessica Alba, Taylor Momsen, Jennifer Aniston, Miranda Kerr, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Britney and Eva Longoria weigh (yes, I'm sure these scales stats have been verified – not), so we can measure ourselves up against them (compare and despair, ladies!).

Over the weekend, body image and its related issues scored a slew of press:

• "Pre-schoolers as young as four are worried about their bodies – and mother and teachers are to blame," reported Claire Weaver in The Sunday Telegraph. An Australian study published in the European Eating Disorders Review journal says that parents and teachers are unintentionally planting "dangerous ideals about body image into young minds." The research conducted by Professor Marita McCabe of Deakin University found that mothers would cut down a daughter's diet if she were to put on weight, while half the mothers surveyed reported their daughters making comments about body size (those with older sisters were more affected).

• Vogue Australia editor Kirstie Clements wrote a column for The Sunday Telegraph discussing the dichotomy between underweight models and Australia's obesity epidemic. She writes: "[Queensland Premier Anna Bligh] has introduced a million-dollar incentive for the town that comes up with a solution to combat obesity... On the other end of the scale, we have the issue of underweight models and, as much as the industry tries to make us believe that they are all normal, healthy girls who eat like horses, many are not." Clements says designer sample sizes demand that models adhere to super-skinny standards, while agencies are often neglectful of their girls' health. "There is a very big difference between being a glowing Miranda Kerr or Jennifer Hawkins and some of the skeletal girls you see on the catwalks of Milan or Paris," says Clements, who was happy to see healthier looking models in NYC and food backstage.

• In response to a Newspoll survey commissioned by Dove, which found that fewer than one in six girls aged 10-14 think they look "good", Julie Thomson of The Butterfly Foundation, which runs the BodyThink program in schools, says it's important for children to be educated in media literacy, particularly about the way in which images are manipulated: "We know that kids are not going to stop reading magazines and watching telly. That is part of pop culture and growing up." In relation to the negative impact of watching shows like Make Me a Supermodel, Thomson says: "There are certainly some young people that may watch those programs and they could contribute to making them feel inadequate and upset about their appearance because they fell as if they cannot match up." (Source: The Sun-Herald)

• An interesting juxtaposition of agendas in The Sun-Herald's 'S' section this past weekend. While Jonathan Pease (style director on Australia's Next Top Model and 'executive ideas director' for Naked Communications) trumpets the return of Erica Packer and her svelte post-baby figure to the social scene ("I had to check the hospital records to confirm that Erica actually did have baby Indigo only two months ago because all signs of post-baby weight seem to have evaporated. Packer's never looked better..."), Mia Freedman (who's just had her third child) lets loose on celebrity mums, and their gossip mag accomplices, a page over for the impossible standards they set for your average lactating new mum:
  

"I have not blitzed my baby weight. And apparently, this makes me different to every celebrity mother who has ever drawn breath. That's what the magazines shriek at me week after week and I hate them for it... Somehow, famous women and the mags that chronicle their bodies have turned post-partum weight loss into a spectator sport. And along the way they've recalibrated our idea of What A New Mother Looks Like, one pair of tiny white jeans and one triathlon at a time. Well done! Society now has a totally warped perception of how a female body should look after giving birth."

Read Mia's hilarious-because-it's-true column here.

As someone who's personally suffered from disorderly eating issues (in part fuelled by the over-consumption of magazines – a girl suffers for her art), I find this persistent focus on body image unsettling. Yes, it's good we're talking about it. Like depression, which was once a taboo social topic, eating disorders – whether they be anorexia, bulimia, overeating, anorexia athletica or orthorexia – should be discussed (in the right environment – gossip mags add no value to the debate), but is all this coverage having the negative effect of legitimising and normalising warped eating and exercising behaviours, as well as super-slim physiques? And what effect does this filter-down effect have on young girls, like my five-year-old niece?

Obviously, as Mia also suggests, we choose to consume media – I don't have to buy the gossip mags or fashion magazines or tune into Today Tonight or 90210. And a woman of a certain age and intellect must certainly derive her sense of self from other inner stores, making her immune to the whims of a media obsessed with bodies. Surely.

It's typically a combination of factors which leads a woman down the wrong mental path (for model Imogen Bailey, it was her modelling career, an unfaithful boyfriend and being surrounded by other anorexics which caused her anorexia) but constant reinforcement of certain media images (Kate Moss in her skinny jeans; models backstage with collar bones on display; Britney's slimmed down physique; Jessica Alba in a white bikini just weeks after giving birth) has to take a toll.

While there is much good being done to equip young women with media literacy skills, through programs like BodyThink, there seems to be no media, or magazine, 'safehouse' where they can go for positive reinforcement (at a stretch, I'd say Frankie magazine is doing good things in this department, by refusing to cover health/nutrition/diet, though the models used in fashion shoots are often thin).

I truly believe that if we were to switch off the media machine (or, at least, edit our 'diet' of magazines, blogs and TV shows down to those which don't deflate our self-esteem), and take refuge in a good book or long walk in the park, we'd all feel much more contented with the bodies we have and people we were created to be. But will this vicious cycle of media-instigated self-flaggelation come to an end? How many models will perish before the fashion industry deems sub-zero models are 'out'? How many young women will rigidly follow the personality-sapping diet and exercise regimes recommended by magazines or restrict their food intake to look like Rachel Zoe before we say 'enough's enough!'?

Imagine a world where media laws were enforced to protect the interests of women – where publishing trashy celebrity diet stories and pictures of the uber-thin became the equivalent of smoking in a restaurant or drink driving. Or where discussing the weight of a female celebrity/co-worker/family member was tainted with the same pariah stick as admitting you refuse to recycle/vote/shower. Where women were celebrated more for their achievements and contributions – at work and home – than their ability to drop weight. I'd buy a first-class ticket.

Yours truly,
Girl With a Satchel

Mags: Madison's me-me-me thrisis

One moment Madison is giving me an existential heart attack, the next I’m having an epiphany or crushing on George Clooney and cute spring fashion. What a mercurial reflection on womanhood this magazine weaves!

The cover… Anne Hathaway is an interesting cover proposition, which makes more sense when you consider that she is the face of Lancome’s new fragrance, Magnifique – advertised inside! In fact, it’s Madison’s beauty director, Stephanie Darling, who is sent to interview the starlet for the four-page cover story, which appears in the beauty section and covers such territory as: ‘what was your first fragrance?’ (Love’s Baby Soft by Dana), ‘who do you think the fragrance will appeal to?’ (women and men folk) and ‘what beauty products would you want on a desert island?’ (“anything with SPF60… a self-tanner… Smith’s Rosebud Salve”).

I know she is everywhere right now (she looks le smoking hot on the cover of Entertainment Weekly), thanks in part to her film releases but mostly because of her ex-boyfriend, but her face to me is quite generic: as in, who is this pretty ‘smart’ girl-next-door? She could be Sandra Bullock or Emmy Rossum or Hilary Swank or Jennifer Garner or even Liv Tyler – a close-up shot like this does little to distinguish the brunette beauty from her contemporaries. She is a gorgeous, articulate girl, respectable role model and has mastered the art of self-deprecation (the antithesis of Paris Hilton), yet she still fails to elicit any more than a passing interest in me (and this is the star of The Devil Wears Prada – sacrilege!).

The cover colours are also a little autumnal for my liking – hello, spring has sprung! Anne’s photograph was taken by the same photographer (Craig McDean) who shot Rachel Weisz (another brunette Anne-a-like!) for October US Vogue.

The ed. says… Paula opens up about her ‘thrisis’ (i.e. the 30-something crisis referred to on the cover), a neologism created to describe the existential dilemmas of women in their 30s who don’t qualify for a teen, quarter-life or mid-life. It seems everyone is experiencing some sort of crisis (why is it so – methinks we are lacking harmony: mind, body, spirit, while many women are also torn between traditional feminine roles and post-feminist expectations). Paula is always prepared to share her own experiences with readers – if this woman, a shining example of glossy perfectionism has experienced adversity, we can rest assured we are not alone in our angst: “I was trying to figure out how to be a mother, wife and editor without feeling utterly guilty about how badly I was handling each role,” she writes, “like a power board with too many plugs in it, I overloaded and one day the power just turned off.”

The story lineup:
• Male columnist Dan Rookwood is M.I.A this month. Perhaps his own existential crisis got the better of him?

• I am skipping over the trashy crime ‘who dunnit?’ report, ‘Dead Calm’ and ‘Nip-tuck Nuptials’ (wives as human billboards for their husband’s surgical work!), for the same reason I avoid the horror and porn sections in the DVD store. Life is too short. What value do these stories add to our lives? If only we could edit out the parts of magazines we don’t enjoy like TiVo.

• David Smiedt is a clever writer plugged into the Zeitgeist who always offers concise and well-rounded insights into socio-cultural trends. This month he tackles the ‘me’ generation in ‘It’s all about you: has the me culture gone too far?’. Of course, the answer is yes. As a blogger, I find I’m quite sensitive to stories that lump all web-based writers into the same narcissistic basket (I’m no Tila Tequila and use Facebook reluctantly), but found myself nodding in agreement with many of Smiedt’s assertions. He writes: “the desire to have one’s name and face recognised by the maximum number of people seems to drive a startlingly large proportion of the affluent Western world… those who not only believe their views are important enough to share with the world but also maintain that they will find an audience of eager consumers”.

In addition to this ego-centricity, I believe Aussies also have an inherent issue with queue jumpers, which is what many reality TV stars, YouTubers and bloggers are, essentially – like Paris Hilton, they are skipping the hard yards and gaining fame (or infamy) via Google searches or sheer luck (often blindingly unaware of the repercussions – there is no Going Public For Egotistic Dummies book). Forget futile attempts at having your book published, having your screenplay rejected, attending umpteen studio auditions, working your way up the media ranks or working the club/pub circuit in the hope that someone, somewhere will hear your music and offer you a record deal: fast-tracking your career trajectory via the internet express is where it’s at. Of course, lacking in credibility, experience and, arguably, brains, most will get their 15 minutes then disappear into obscurity when the next big thing comes along. In this culture, people are as disposable as nappies.

• Poor Jennifer Aniston is the poster girl for just about any Gen-X/female shortcoming we can think of. Former Cosmopolitan editor Sarah Wilson also delves into existentialism via ‘Help, I’m having a thrisis’, using her own experience as her starting point. Wilson writes: “I was diagnosed with a web of auto-immune conditions best summed up by my specialist, who said, ‘You’ve been driving at 130km an hour in first gear’… And so I quit my job and spent the next six months on a bumpy road to wellness… I’d never felt so free.’ Wilson believes the thrisis is unique to the women of Gen X – a generation that has led accelerated lives: “Speaking to many thirty-somethings for this story, I observed a generation hankering for these less complicated, more organic times.” There is hope in Wilson’s story – she has found women who have found a better life for themselves after reaching crisis point. If only we didn’t have to arrive at that place first! Flip over a page and you’ll find an Olay ad declaring “Fight what ages you most”. I’d suggest that would be angst!

• This month’s ‘Eye Candy’ is George Clooney, interviewed by A.J. Jacobs. Jacobs has gone for an interesting angle, surfing the internet with Clooney to get his opinion on what’s said about him (“a sort of This Is Your Virtual Life”). This technique lends itself to a candid profile piece – the ideal way to covey Clooney’s style of boy-humour on the page. First stop is Wikipedia, followed by IMDb, Facebook, celebrity sites, newspaper sites and celebpolitics.com. The girlfriend checklist is particularly interesting – did he date Renee Zellweger? “A little bit”.

• Chloe Quigley and Daniel Pollock’s fashion and weather-obsessed alter ego Michi Girl and her new book lead into the Entertainment section (as it does in Vogue): “a distinctly Australian eye to the concept of personal style,” writes Madison. Wendy Squires writes ‘When crass was king’, in reference to the ‘Ozploitation’ genre of Australian cinema (think blood, violence and sex).

• The travel section gives us ‘Eat, Stay, Love’ via Bangkok, Stockholm and London, while psychologist Sarah Gibson is given a page to rant about her single-girl status in ‘Sex and the Pity’.

• You won’t be feeling self-pity after you read the three breast cancer stories in ‘What I know now…’. (Key to happiness = appreciate what you have right now; get some perspective!)

I have just has an existential epiphany – I narcissistically gravitate towards stories from which I can learn something about myself – even if gleaned through the experience of others! Typical Gen Y-er. I’m such a cliché!

The superficial:

• Madison fashion is this month advocating prints, thick straps with square/asymmetrical necklines, playsuits, safari style, boho glamour, gladiator sandals, chic leisure wear, tie-dye pieces and flattering underwear.

• Chanel’s Susie Stenmark’s style is up for examination, as also in Vogue.

• The ‘dress for your shape’ workshop covers the pregnant, tall, petite, curvy and athletic to nice effect. All the women are, of course, in proportion, which makes them ideal 'models': no stumpy legs/big tums; huge boobs/stick legs; flat chest/enormous butt, etc.

• The main fashion spreads include ‘The Starlet’, featuring Pania Rose in ‘60s-style dresses and floral prints; ‘Great Lengths’ (a gorgeous tribute to the maxi dress featuring model Elyse Taylor); ‘Spring Essentials’ (I’m a fan of the Cheap Chic spreads and this one doesn’t disappoint – labels include Dotti, Don’t Ask Amanda, Ben Sherman, Lacoste, Sambag, Something, French Connection, Industries, Diva, One Teaspoon, Sportscraft, Nine West, Country Road, Gorman and Charlie Brown).

• The profile piece on model/TV host Kristy Hinze culminates in a breakout box on the production of the Sportscraft Kristy bag.

• Beauty gives us tanning moisturizers; fat-blasting, cellulite-destroying, thigh-toning products; ‘Can a tan make you look thinner?’; ‘High speed beauty’; and products for your glovebox.

• Loving the Beach Shack ‘Living’ spread, not least because it features Madison’s deputy art director, Carly Townsend, who is gorgeous and girl-crush worthy (she has worked her way from Total Girl to Shop Til You Drop to Madison).

• The issue rounds out with five celebrity-inspired ‘Shopping’ pages and Rachel Ward’s words of wisdom: “I don’t feel comfortable unless I am giving something back”.

The score:
Overall excitement factor: 6/7
Feel-good factor: 5
Eye-candy rating: 4

The stats:
Issue: October 2008
Book size: 292 pages
Cover price: $8.20
FOB ads: Chanel Chance, Dior Iconic mascara, Tiffany & Co., Calvin Klein Jeans, Covergirl Lash Blast, Clinique, Chanel Exceptionnel mascara, Dior Rouge...
Editor: Paula Joye
Publisher: ACP Magazines/PBL Media
Website: www.madisonmag.com.au

Yours truly,
Girl With a Satchel

Mags: Girlfriend retro issue

What was Girlfriend talking about 15 years ago? GWAS takes a look inside a treasured back-issue to find out. Giggles, gasps and OMG-are-they-kiddings? ensue...

Issue: November 1993
Cover price: $3.20
Book size: 148 pages
Cover models: Krissy and Niki Taylor. You could pretty much bet on one of the Taylor sisters appearing on the cover of Girlfriend or Dolly in the early 90s. Like younger versions of supermodel Elle Macpherson, their smiley, "sunkissed" LA-girl looks were what Aussie girls aspired to. When Krissy died from a reported asthma attack in 1995, aged 17 (later her death was linked to cardiac disease), it was major news and majorly disappointing. I may have cried. Inside, there's a DPS feature dedicated to the girls with a bunch of black and white beach snaps. They are too beautiful. No wonder I felt so inadequate as a teen!

Cover lines: 'Cossies that make you look slim' and 'Stars who starve themselves': in addition to Taylor sister perfection, the message is clear and simple: thin + beautiful is in.

Of note:

• In the tradition of Sassy, the features writers tend to use their own life experience (eg. "When I was in Yera 10 I had to move to a new school...") to create relationship and understanding with the reader. This doesn't happen as much with features now – the editor blogs (fash, ent., beauty), reader blogs and columns tend to be the reserve for the first-person, while features use second or third, giving them a more credible, if clinical, air. That said, teen writers would be remiss to use an "all-knowing" voice – young people are far too cynical to fall for that! A trend across the magazine spectrum these days, particularly in women's mags, sees writers using a mix of first and third person voices.
• No sealed section: the 'Body Clinic' and 'Love & Life' pages are open for all to read. No Q&As for family or friend issues, as there are now – plus, no Michael Carr-Gregg (who is a genius – Dr. Phil ain't got nothing on MCG).
• There are two fiction pieces – one being a column by 'C.C. O'Brien', who has decided to throw her first dinner party.
  

The ed. says: Kathryn Brown is "suffering Beverly Hills withdrawl symptoms... life isn't the same without Luke and Jason."

Celeb roll call: The 'Famous Faces' section gives us Edward Furlong, Marky Mark, Jeremy Jordan, Kate Moss and Michael Hutchence, while Christian Slater, Sandra Bernhard and Joey Lawrence make the 'Global Gossip' cut.

Regular pages: How Embarrassment (it never fails to amuse); This Month (we learn about Supermodel TV and casting love spells); in 'How to...' we're shown how to make a candle and a cool drink; Earth Alert – Eco Update (we cared about the environment back then, too – then it fell of the radar!); the 'This month's models' column profiles, you guessed it, the models featured in this issue (they have personalities and interests, you know); Horoscopes and Dream Doctor precede 'Global Gossip', a DPS of entertainment news ("Recently Sara Gilbert, who plays Darlene Connor on Roseanne, announced she was leaving the comedy series which is based in LA to attend Yale University in Connecticut"; "America's biggest heartthrob is Joey Lawrence who appears in the TV soap Blossom"; "Alex Demitriades and Melissa Tkautz were caught having a snog-up in a Sydney nightclub"), and the issue rounds off with 'Awkward Moments', a comic page.

Major features:

• 'How to get that boy to notice you' (writer Ally Oliver imparts her first-hand knowledge of boy attraction tactics - don't avoid him, flirt, be confident, get him alone, be bold, make him laugh and send him a mystery gift). There's a positive message about not changing yourself to get his attention and having something to say.
• In 'Is shyness ruining your life?', writer Ella McIntyre relates her own shy-girl behaviour before offering up her best advice via 'The art of conversation', 'How to make yourself speak out' and '8 ways to beat shyness'.
• 'Do you have to be thin to be famous?' gives us a bunch of celebrity before-and-after shots (Dannii Minogue, Madonna, Tracey Gold, Roseanne Arnold, Demi Moore, Melissa Tkautz, Cindy Crawford), with commentary about their weight loss ("how the stars keep their wobbly bits under control"), which is rather scary, as it gets quite specific:
  

"Tracey started struggling with anorexia when she was cast as Carol Seaver is the sitcom Growing Pains. The actress starved herself from 60kg down to less than 40kg after a casting agent told her she'd never get work unless she lost weight"; and "After giving birth to two children, Demi felt her fleshy frame was hindering her movie career. Funnily enough, after she hired a personal trainer she was immediately cast in Ghost and her career has gone from strength to strength ever since."

Essentially, for all the stars featured, their weight loss has been equated with success. What kind of message is this to be sending girls? The introductory editorial reads: "If you listen to the stars talking about their careers, it's always divided into two distinct sections – before they met their personal trainer and chef and after... when they won an Academy Award. Annoying, isn't it?". Yes, annoying, isn't it? This would never fly on the pages of GF now.

Fashion & Beauty: 'Beauty Bazaar' gives us 'supermodel secrets' (i.e. use this product and look like Helena/Niki/Naomi/Claudia/Cindy); Hair Buzz gives us the lowdown on Goldwell's Design Curl perming product; the 'House of Style' page starring Jennie Garth is sponsored by Sportsgirl (a store that teens still love but is marketed to older girls); 'White Heat' is the first fashion spread - think crochet, cheese cloth, shell necklaces, lace and white denim shorts. Hot!; a random page of 'Bargain Buys' gives us fashion priced from $10 to $72; the 'Style Council' page uses illustrations, rather than photos of real girls, to show us which swimsuits to choose to flatter our body shapes (big boobs; no waist and tummy bulges; small boobs; petite; too skinny; pear shape).

The 'Formal Special' contains a fashion spread called 'Enchanted Evening' – think long, floral frocks, dresses in shades of emerald and burgundy, ugly shoes word with sheer black tights and chokers (ew!) – a beauty story on the art of subtle makeup application, 'Late night locks', 'More dash than cash' (cheap dresses by Johnny Dexter, Room Two, PTO and Dangerfield) and another fashion spread pairing Nathan Harvey with models (clearly the male model is where it's at).

Health: We're given info on breast checks, fresh juices and cystitis and a 'Body Clinic' page (have I got genital warts? could I get breast cancer? I make myself sick...). There's a sport and fitness DPS called 'Good Sports' (how the Girlfriend team stay in shape) and a quiz which asks, 'Do you know enough about sex?'.

Boys & Entertainment: Nathan Harvey is on almost every page (a friend of my step-bros, I know he's now working at Sea World on the Gold Coast); Kelly Slater rates a few mentions; Keanu Reeves scores a DPS; 'male supermodels' get a four-page spread; music gives us Kim Wilde ("That pout! Those hits!), Pet Shop Boys, Kris Kross (jump, jump!), Ugly Kid Joe and Four Non Blondes. There's an ad for the Janet Jackson film Poetic Justice - and a film review; and a box on 'stars and their bad habits' (Tom Crusie = miming to songs; Sharon Stone = wearing no knickers). There's an interview with a guy named Justin King, who was a Girlfriend model but has his own band, Chill Factor. 'Loud Americans' profiles Nirvana, Pearl Jam and Rage Against the Machine (learn all the facts about your fave band!).

Advertisers: Coca-Cola, Yardley Oatmeal skin products (modelled by the band Girlfriend!), Bodypaint, Jenkins shoes, Hound Dog, Andrea hair removal products, Voodoo Dolls, Nair, Schwarzkopf Napro LIVE, Carefree...

There's not a lot of girl-empowerment going on between these pages, but there are a whole bunch of models, skinny celebrities and ads featuring bikini models. There's more interest in male celebrities than female celebs (who are gossiped about), with no feature stories devoted to girls on TV/film, though there are, of course, those two pages of the Taylor sisters ("the luckiest schoolgirls in the world"). Not a lot of looks/body/aspiration diversity going on here – even the staffers are trying to lose weight for summer in the health feature. I feel bad for my thirteen-year-old self (and worse still for the pimple-faced, frizzy-haired, braces-wearing, puppy-fat-cushioned 15-year-old she became!).

Yours truly,
Girl With a Satchel

Mags: Happy birthday, Girlfriend!

My love affair with Girlfriend magazine started when I was 13, culminating in three years of editorial service in my 20s. And while other magazines of the teen/young adult's genre (Sassy, Jane, Chik, ELLEGirl – sob) have met unfortunate fates, languishing in Glossy Heaven for ever more, the GF brand rocks on, edging ever close to Dolly in circulation but still playing the girl-next-door underdog.

So, I'm pleased to be celebrating 20 years of Girlfriend today by flicking through a new issue featuring former Home and Away actress Indiana Evans on the cover and giving props to an editorial team who are deeply passionate about all things pop culture, pink and teen.

I'll be back later with scans from my magazine archives – yes, I still have some of my original Girlfriends from the '90s!

Yours truly,
Girl With a Satchel

Pop: There goes the girlhood

Warning: I feel compelled to rant. My concern? We don't seem to be making any progress in terms of women's representations in the pop culture sphere. In fact, I think things are getting worse. Any young girl watching Make Me a Supermodel, tuning into MTV or glimpsing the covers in a newsagent would be forgiven for thinking sexy, vacuous, skinny or angry are the ultimate aspiration.

Exhibit A: Blender magazine.

I admit, The Pussycat Dolls are an easy target. But posing in 'wife-beaters'? It's not even ironic. Below are some of the lyrics from the Dolls' new single, "When I Grow Up", which 12-year-old girls across the world are singing in classrooms right now, just as we chanted "Hit me, baby, one more time". They can also check out the Dolls, in all their busty glory, on Video Hits at 10am on a Saturday morning, right after watching the more wholesome Miley Cyrus and her daddy in Hannah Montana, who, admittedly, displays anger management issues in the film clip for her "7 Things" single, just as Pink does in "So What" – angry girls or sexy girls, I'm not sure what's worse? Take it away PCD...

"When I grow up; I wanna be famous;
I wanna be a star; I wanna be in movies
When I grow up; I wanna see the world
Drive nice cars; I wanna have groupies
When I grow up; Be on TV
People know me; Be on magazines
When I grow up; Fresh and clean
Number one chick when I step out on the scene..."

Exhibit B: Rolling Stone magazine.

Kate Perry reminds me of Zooey Deschanel. I saw her perform her single, "I Kissed A Girl", on So You Think You Can Dance. She's cute. But along with LiLo's foray into lesbianism via her 'friendship' with Sam Ronson, I do worry that curious 10-year-olds might start swapping Lip Smackers with their little friends to be cool like Kate.

The chorus from Kate Perry's pop song, "I kissed a girl"...

"I kissed a girl and I liked it;
The taste of her cherry chap stick;
I kissed a girl just to try it;
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it;
It felt so wrong; It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it; I liked it"

Kissing pop stars, angry pop stars, power lesbians... bring back the Spice Girls, I say!

And don't even get me started on the disturbingly super-fugly Miss Piggy-inspired 'heelarious' baby heels!

Yours truly,
Girl With a Satchel

P.S. Meanwhile, the boys aren't doing any better. Kanye West has reportedly been arrested for bashing up a photographer, while Aussie polly Matt Brown lost his job over a pants-dropping scandal. Great role modelling, guys! At least I can rest assured some things are right in the world - Anna Wintour has vehemently denied she will be featuring Britney Spears in Vogue.

Mags: Women's Health (Guest Review)

Our intrepid reviewer Rochelle Zaknich feels inspired to get off the couch... just as soon as the Olympics are over and she's recovered from reading this month's over-zealous issue of Women's Health...

Being a tragic Olympic fan, it was with somewhat greater enthusiasm than usual that I picked up this month’s issue of Women’s Health. I don’t know if it’s all those fit-looking bronzed athletes (go Aussies!) or the sunny Spring-like weather we’ve been having here in Perth, but my thoughts are starting to turn towards hauling myself off the sofa and getting into some sort of health and fitness regime. While I won’t be giving up the sofa just yet – there’s a whole one more week of Olympics to go –, WH seemed like a relevant magazine to flick through in the ad breaks…

The cover... If there’s one thing guaranteed not to surprise you about WH each month, it’s the cover. Think taut, toned chick in a bikini and you’ll never be far off. This month, we get Nicole Boerner – I never recognise the names of any of the cover girls, so I can only assume they’re fit-looking models, or lesser-known athletes who just happen to be pretty. The coverlines feature the usual slew of numbers (‘2,127 All-new Nutrition, Exercise, Relationship, Beauty and Style Tips’ – who has to count these?!) and motivational fitness-speak. It’s labelled a special issue with a focus on ‘Relax & Recharge’ – yes, please!

The ed. says… Alongside her pretty new ed’s photo, Felicity Percival tells us about her difficulty ‘switching off’ during a recent spa visit and laments the fact that we are all drowning in data. A good point, but a quick flick through the issue only adds to this feeling for me – more on this below…

The story line-up:
• The focal point of this month’s issue is ‘The Big Easy’ – jam-packed full of tips and tricks designed to help us streamline our lives, save time and reduce stress. While it’s obvious that a lot of thought and research went into this feature, and many of the tips are quite useful (a diagram showing how to rescue jewellery from the drain – my greatest fear!), I found it contradictory. The feature is so chock-full of websites, gadgets (advertorials?) and numbers that it’s overwhelming. I would have preferred a more holistic approach – how can we change our mindset and streamline our lives from the inside out?
• ‘Sore Subject’ is the token science story this month, all about – you guessed it – pain. A fact-filled, newsy read if you can stay with it (I skimmed!). As a migraine sufferer, I can vouch for the fact that consuming caffeine with your painkillers really can help.
• ‘Head Strong’ is a fitness article all about mind over matter, which felt like a very relevant read after watching 38 year-old Romanian Constantina Tomescu-Dita win the women’s marathon in the Olympics while eating croissants on the sofa today – truly amazing stuff! The feature explains some of the psychology behind endurance, strength-building exercises and motivational mantras from athletes and the WH team (“This is not the hardest thing I’ve ever done”, Amanda Ryan, 32. Though in Tomescu-Dita’s case, it probably was!).
• ‘Sex Repairs’ by Leslie Goldman gives us her first-person experience of sex therapy (brave girl!). Goldman tries to work through three of her issues: impatience to orgasm, her and her partner’s conflicting schedules, and the most tricky: body consciousness. The first two seem to be checked off fairly easily via some tantric breathing and appointment making, while the body-image stuff takes a little more work. Goldman’s therapist explains that it’s the control freak in her coming out, and after some burlesque dancing and a night of submission, the problem is seemingly cured and the feature wrapped up.

The superficial:
• Returning to the ‘relax and recharge’ theme, we get ‘The WH Spa Guide’. All pretty ho-hum for an anti-spa person like myself but possibly quite useful if you’re planning a break yourself. Editor Felicity Percival and Beauty Editor Nicole Wraight both write in-depth reviews before the usual state-by-state guide. It’s probably the cynic in me coming out, but has a journalist ever been sent on an all-expenses-paid spa trip and written a bad review? You know what you’re getting here.
• ‘Lose the Last 3…5…10 Kilos’ features four women who are prescribed diets to help budge the pesky weight that won’t budge. While I think the intentions are good here, I really hate the idea of a diet, especially one that has a name (‘the abs diet’ – sounds fun, huh?). I thought women’s mags were moving past this?
• While I don’t know that it’s ‘superficial’, food articles featuring recipes generally make up the fluffier lifestyle component of the magazine. ‘Power Pizzas’ is a visual treat featuring five pages of recipes that pack a nutritious punch – the Thai Prawn pizza sounds delish!

While I think WH is doing a good job of promoting its mantra, ‘it’s good to be you’, I’d love for it to be a bit more dynamic each month – things are starting to feel a bit formulaic.

The score:
Overall excitement factor: 6
Feel-good factor: 5 and 10ish (ties in well with the tagline of the mag…)
Eye-candy rating: 3

The Stats:
Issue: September 2008
Cover Price: $6.95
Book size: 164 pages
Ad/promo pages: 47 out of 164 pages
FOB ads: Garnier, Olay, Avon, Asics, Biotherm, Champion, O.P.I.
Back Cover: Clinique
Editor: Felicity Percival
Website: www.yahoo7.com.au/womenshealth

Yours truly,
Girl With a Satchel

Mags: State of the (Mag)Nation

So, no surprises with the latest magazine circulation and readership figures – consumers are penny pinching to accommodate the rising cost of living, leaving glossy mags behind at the checkout rather than chucking them in the trolley.

Sales of all the weekly titles fell (welcome to the market, Grazia!), while women's and men's lifestyle magazines also felt the brunt of lower consumer confidence. A rare exception to the trend, Pacific Magazines' Marie Claire managed to hold its ground, while new girl Women's Health (also Pacific) reported an increase of 13%, and Harper's Bazaar (ACP) continues to strengthen its position. Advance apologies for gaps in the below results – Pacific and News Mags have been slow to update their stats on their respective sites!

Circulation (i.e. sales)...

"Magazines have suffered their worst declines in circulation in years, the overall market diving more than 7% as consumers cut discretionary spend in tightening economic conditions," says AdNews. "The latest Audit Bureau of Circulation (ABC) figures for the year ending June 2008 reveal weekly magazines suffered the most, declining by 9.31% last quarter while monthlies dropped by 5.38% over the last half year."

Down...
Cosmo dropped 18.7% of sales (165,301 Aussie sales)
Cleo dropped 12.3% (149,256)
The Australian Women's Weekly dropped 12.4% (to 530,143)
Madison dropped 2.4% (95,166)
Shop Til You Drop dropped 6% (75,197)

NW dropped 11.9% (to 155,150)
Famous dropped 10.8% (to 67,135)
Woman's Day dropped 8.5% (430,235)
NW dropped 12.3% (155,150)

Up and up...
Harper's Bazaar up 5% (55,891)
Better Homes and Gardens up 13.56% (335,000+)
Health Smart up 11.34% (80,161)

Readership...

Though overall magazine readership grew by 1.1% in the past 12 months, "Women’s weeklies, women’s fashion, teen girls, women’s lifestyle, men’s interest, and men’s lifestyle were among the categories to lose total readership," reports AdNews.

Down...
Madison down 20.6% (235,000)
Cleo down 22% (495,000)
Cosmo down 8.4% (688,000)

InStyle down 12.4% (240,000)
Harper's Bazaar down 2.9% (236,000)

NW down 12.7% (529,000)
New Idea down 9.7% (1,955,000)
Woman's Day down 9.5% (2,354,000)

Girlfriend down 15.6% (318,000)
Dolly down 14.4% (366,000)

Up and up...
Shop Til You Drop up 16% (206,000)
Marie Claire up 3.2% (513,000)
Vogue up 0.6% (350,000)

OK! up 31.4% (431,000 readers)
Famous up 3.9% (308,000)
Who up 2.9% (786,000)

Better Homes & Gardens up 16.9% (1,698,000)
Real Living up 8.2% (122,000)
Home Beautiful up 8.2% (367,000)
Notebook up 4.1% (340,000)
Vogue Entertaining & Travel up 20.1% (173,000)

Slimming & Health up 15.6% (89,000)
Delicious up 18.9% (509,000)
Super Food Ideas up 15.6% (1,003,000)

The Monthly up 102.2% (91,000)

Read my last readership report here and the last 'State of the (mag)nation' circulation report here.

Yours truly,
Girl With a Satchel

Books: What's Happening To Our Girls?

Mothers, lock up your daughters! What Is Happening To Our Girls? (Viking, $29.95) is a very important book (one which should be read by anyone who has anything to do with raising, teaching or writing for girls, in particular) but, by golly, has it put me off childbirth. I'm just not sure I could cope with the pressure of producing a 'normal' girl child in the context of the challenging, unsettling world Maggie creates for us via two years of research, interviewing and writing.

The book covers a lot of ground, taking us from the way babies and toddlers are exploited by brands ("some girls are now fashion-conscious as young as 3 or 4"), to how girls are being conditioned to associate their self-worth with looks alone, the way in which imagination and creativity is undermined via subservience to consumerism, technology, ready-made entertainment and premature sexualisation, tween purchasing power and celebrity worship, peer anxiety, body loathing, stress, exhaustion and expectations, the influence of magazines, media and pop culture ("many will bypass magazines for girls their age and head straight for Cosmo and Cleo"), plastic surgery, eating disorders, self-harm (i.e. cutting), bullying/bitching culture, physical violence, sexual activity ('Monday Morning Syndrome' refers to girls arriving at school "totally devastated by a sexual experience"), being sexy, STDs, drinking and drug-taking, shoplifting for thrills, depression, selfishness, suicide, social networking issues, cyber challenges/predators, pornography and a general crisis of identity, purpose and strong, fulfilling relationships. Of course, Maggie tempers all this depressing content with the consistent use of perk-me-up suggestions at the conclusion of most chapters, which serve to remind us that we are all responsible for this mess and, therefore, responsible for helping girls to clean up their act.

I had a chat with Maggie this week about the book, teen girls and the things feminism forgot. Her message: "We have to reclaim the next generation of girls who are slipping away from us."

What prompted you to write the book?
When I finished my book on men and boys [What Men Don't Talk About], everyone said ‘I guess you’re going to be doing girls now’. To be honest, I wasn’t that interested. I thought there was nothing new to say – there are endless editorials. But being naturally curious, I thought I’d see if there was anything that hadn’t been talked about.

I don’t have kids myself, sadly, but I started talking to girlfriends who have teenage girls and younger girls and they were absolutely bug-eyed. So I thought I have to keep going with this. We’re focused on our girls doing better than boys at school and giving them career choices but this whole tsunami of other influences is threatening to swamp them. And we’re completely oblivious to it.

So, then I got into it in earnest and two years later finished my research and wrote the book up. It was a huge project. In some areas there was very little research done. There are over 100 teen girl voices in the book, from all different backgrounds and chosen randomly, but I also spoke to teachers, school counselors, child psychologists, medical staff, law enforcement people, including those working underground on the net. All of these people are dealing with dozens of kids every week, so I felt that by doing that I was getting access to a much larger pool, rather than just speaking to the girls. But what I did try to do was to get inside their skins and then try and translate for parents how they’re experiencing being a teen or a tween or any girl, for that matter, so we can understand it.

What were some of the more startling revelations?
That one in ten girls are cutting themselves across Australia and when you talk to the girls it’s quite normal – they talk about it like crossing the road. When you look at the psychological literature, they talk about the unbearable pain that girls are experiencing. Self-harm is like letting steam out.

The other thing is underage sex. A lot of the teachers, quite young ones, that I spoke to were shocked. One said she couldn’t believe that girls of 14 were having sex and that in the last few years that’s decreased to 12 and some 14-year-olds have had up to 20 partners or multiple partners in a single night. With the oral and anal sex, we're seeing a lot of it in girls 12 and up and they’re getting STDs – particularly chlamydia, because often it’s not detectable and causes infertility. Professor David Bennett has said that we might be facing the most infertile generation of young women in history.

Young girls are seeing their bodies purely from the point of view of how guys are going to see them. I think this goes back to the whole packaging of images of sexy models. I think the sexualisation debate is very narrow and leaves out a lot of elements that allows trendy parents to say, ‘Oh, they’re just old fashioned’. The fact is that these girls have seen sexy models on billboards and in magazines from the time they can register them, not realising one per cent of women are ever going to look like that. And it makes all the wonderful shapes and sized we come in look abnormal. Even in pre-schools the girls are now concerned about how they’re looking and what they’re wearing. By the time they get to their teens, these girls have had a number of years focusing on the way they look – not on the inside person. I think this very much impacts on their anxieties and also coming across sexually, when perhaps they mightn’t really want to.

Did you feel overwhelmed when you were researching?
I did. I bored my girlfriends senseless for two years. I’d find a new piece of research and I’d be so shocked about it that I’d have to talk about it and they patiently listened (I’m sure any mention of the book now makes them want to scream) but I had to download it.

I think what we’re denying girls – and we’ve seen a huge decline in imagination from branding, etc. – is imagination, which is what carries you forward in life, whether it’s navigating a fallout with a girlfriend or what you might do in the future, the dreams you have for yourself and filling in bored moments. Imagination is so rich and we need to keep that alive.

Did the girls have anything positive to say?
The really positive thing for me, in the last two chapters, was that these girls, when they grow up, want to be married and have babies – not because they’re romantics but because they’ve seen the fallout from their parents' and friends’ parents' relationships from the endless partners and blended families. They want to find that one person who can create that warm space for them.

One thing we don’t do is give girls the opportunity to serve in the community. I was talking to the CEO of Girl Guides Australia recently and she’s trying to totally re-image what Girl Guides is about and this is going to be one of the elements. It’s also about giving girls new role models. She’s looking at giving them leaders who are in their early 20s – young women who’ve got it together who can really encourage.

I think we also need to encourage them to have friendships across generations – mum’s best friend or a favourite aunty or grandma and grandpa. A lot of them talk really warmly about grandparents – they felt they lived in a really warm, womb-like space and they wanted to be like them one day.

Is part of the problem that girls are lacking in a solid family structure and spiritual values – are all values based around image?
Yes, and I think the community doesn’t support girls. A girlfriend of mine who worked for ACP Magazines for a few years said to me, ‘You know, Maggie, I grew up in a rural Queensland and when I look back, I had about 30 people looking out for me. And that meant everything from getting a kick in the pants for doing something naughty to gathering me up if I was a bit distressed about something – making me a cup of tea and giving me a biscuit and then sending me off home feeling okay.’

Girls are spending a lot of time alone. They cling to their peers because they want to feel this belonging. Their peers are there 24/7, which has its problems, but at least their peers are there.

We have to encourage our girls to get creative. In terms of fashion, of course they want to be up with the latest fashions, but we’ve got a planet that’s groaning with problems. We should get them into things like vintage; teach them how to knit so they can make a scarf or beanie for themselves or a girlfriend. A lot of those things are very soulful, which we threw out with the women’s movement. We didn’t understand how fabulous it was. We need to give girls the opportunity to serve – to take part in tree planting… things that plant them in the community and give them a sense of value and belonging. I think girls are crying out for this.

What about feminism…
I think the movement had been very important but we have to be honest that not all of it is working and that every social change has unexpected consequences and I think we have consolidated materialism to a whole new level. It was important for women to have their own income, because terrible things happened when they didn’t, but life’s about more than the handbag and new pair of shoes. And I think that’s why we have such a high rate of depression.

What I found very sad was the number of 14-16 year old girls, who hate what’s happening to little girls, who said they wished they could go back to childhood, when everything was easy and innocent, when they didn't worry about what other people thought or what they wore or how they came across. Being accepted by girlfriends and the terrible fear that if they don’t have the right shoes or bag or listen to the wrong music that they’d be cast out of the group is a huge thing. Of course, life is about more than shoes and the new handbag.

Visit Maggie's website or order a copy of the book for more.

Yours truly,
Girl With a Satchel

Mags: Grazia's glossy debut

The recurring thought I had while sifting through the 172 glossy pages of Grazia is 'How the heck are they going to be able to deliver one of these every week?'. Seriously, it's a lot of content. There are a lot of ads, too, mind – 58 ad pages in total, plus 9 promotional/marketing pages = 39% of pages. Still, I've no doubt the team is lacking in the sleep department. And there's confirmation on the Ed's letter page (which could have used another sub). Former Harper's BAZAAR editor Alison Veness-McGourty leads in with:

"There are rumours doing the rounds that I get up at 4am to do this job. Well, honestly, I mean it's just not true. 4am is when I go to bed."

There are 36 full-time editorial staff working to bring us Grazia each week under the guidance of workaholic (and mum) Veness-McGourty, in addition to seven contributors/correspondents, 14 advertising staff, two production staff and the highly paid suits at ACP/PBL, Hearst and Mondadori Magazines who oversee the whole shebang. For the sake of all this talent, and the sheer passion of McGourty and her hard-working team, I hope the magazine's high-end style of fashion/celebrity/gloss, mixed with NW-style goss and, of course, Kate Moss, resonates with the Australian magazine buyer (and, of course, advertisers whose budgets are, no doubt, a little trimmer this financial year).

Journey with me as I flick from front to back...

• High-end labels Louis Vuitton (super-shiny gatefold: show offs) and Prada lure us into the glossy world of Grazia. Clearly, this is a magazine for the career girl/fashionista/supermum who buys Harper's BAZAAR or Vogue and is looking for a weekly dose of similar content to satiate her desire for the new, celebrity gossip (in chic surroundings) and inspiration for hitting the shops (like she needs another excuse!).
• Zac Posen poses with models backstage on the Contents page, which is followed by beauty ads for L'Oreal's Infallible Lip Duo Compact, Elizabeth Arden, Clinique (love the pretty ad for Nude Blush) and Rimmel London (featuring... Kate Moss! Total number of Mossy pics inside this issue: 6).
  
• In her editor's letter, AVM tells us what her magazine is all about: "It's about being gorgeous, glamorous, it's about gosh!! It's about a rip-roaring stellar (Stella...) read that hopefully with enthral you and appal you with its intensity... we may be in the grip of a recession, but we will walk through it together, from the cheap and chic, clever and canny buys to the most expensive purchases... I want Grazia to be a must-read for all your news and your shoes, to give you celebrity with integrity and glamour; plus the very best mix of fashion and beauty... like a good book you can't put down."
• 'The Week in 10' presents us with 10 covetable fashion items, which is totally boring, though I like the inclusion of art editor Sarah Birnbauer's 'must list' (YSL bag, Luella top, Lee jeans) and can see it serves a purpose. I think they can do better.

• Next up is fashion features director Edwina McCann's 'Shoes with news!' column, where she tells us she's ditching her all-black uniform in favour of colour, inspired by Sheikha Mozah Bint Nasser Al-Missned. A small tribute to Marcs designer Mark Keighery also.
  
• The four-page cover story 'Why Kate won't change for anyone' is really just an excuse for us to check out Mossy in a bikini, with those ubiquitous on-the-yacht holiday shots padded out with a story about her breakup with Jamie Hince, her apparent reluctance to settle down and her BFF Davinia Taylor.
• Other features include 'Elle: 'Love is imperative', three-pages on the supermodel in light of Arki's relationship with Uma ("I've got a fabulous life. I am in a fantastic space and I feel confident and blessed." Not even just a little peeved?) and 'Madonna's brother speaks exclusively to Grazia'. I'm so over looking at/hearing about Madonna that I skip over it and while I like to look at pretty pictures of Elle, I don't care for reading about her (can't relate on any level – and she always comes across as kind of aloof).
  
• Jodhi Meares, holding a very large eagle, is given three pages to explain why she opted out of hosting the Next Top Model final (we're not given anything really new to munch on – we know she's not an entertainer and loathes the spotlight). She's a pretty bland subject, though, for some reason she appeals to me.

• The first serious feature is 'Zimbabwe: Will life ever be normal again?' a first-person account by Cathy Buckle of life under Robert Mugabe's regime.
• 'Grazia: This Just In' is next, written by Edwina McCann, who is glad she's not Angelina Jolie this week (McCann also has twins) and says if Angelina starts to look emaciated soon it's because of the double workload (no mention of her entourage of carers).
• Grazia Exclusive: 'Like, totally epic' is two pages devoted to the Australia costume wardrobe. Yawn.
• 'Confessions of a celebrity stylist' is a first-person piece by Erin Vincent, who went to LA to fulfill a dream and got a fill of celebrity crap (many actors are "spoilt, demanding and just plain tiresome", can you believe?). Revealing comments about J.Lo and Gisele and a revelation that the American dream ain't all it's cracked up to be. Good read.
  
• Tabloid fodder comes via 'I begged them to make him stop', another first-person piece; this time by midwife Robin Moon who worked alongside 'butcher' obstetrician Graeme Reeves.
  
• Nivea has gone to town with a six-page ad spread.
• Aussie model Alexandra Agostan pens 'The Princess Diaries', giving us her account of modelling for Dior.
  
• 'Cult blogger' Ugly Debty (current total debt $131,373.87) gets some publicity with her as-told-to contribution 'In the red! I blew $130k on Jimmy Choos'. She's kept her debt a secret from her family and friends and banker husband (the ultimate deception!) and instead is blogging her way back into the black. Handy hints on reducing debt are included. She makes me feel positively saintly.
  
• We enter the fashion section via ads for Covergirl, Just Jeans and Diet Coke and a giant still-life picture of a Brit-inspired Chanel handbag. This is followed by two pages of artfully displayed pumps, a full-page picture of Nicole Richie in ballet flats, a page of ballet flats, a page in tribute to a pair of $2070 Louis Vuitton pumps, a rather uninspiring picture of Kate Moss toting a Mulberry Smithfield bag accompanied by seven similar black bags for us to choose from, a page of metallic bags, a page of totes in shades of yellow, tan and burnt orange, a page devoted to Prada's lace bags and a page of purses.

• We then get 'Tagged & bagged!', a page breaking down the outfit details of a celebrity (Jennifer Hawkins in Dior this week), 'Style Dash', a single outfit idea, 'G!Rated', fashion director Mark Vassallo's nod to printed dresses available at Myer, 'Quick Fix', another single outfit idea, a page promoting grazia.com.au and a three page ad for Dotti (Target and Wheels & Dollbaby also have pages attached to the section).

• The first fashion spread, 'It's only rock & roll', runs over 12 pages and features model Louise Van de Vorst, Daniel Johns' girlfriend (way to get some work by association!), who vamps it up in leopard print, fishnet tights, skinny jeans, feathers, fluoro heels, red lipstick and a lot of bling.

• The second shoot, 'Under the influence', is decidedly more demure (in contrast to the headline), which references Yves Saint Laurent's major collections. Very clever.

• Sportsgirl gets a two-page promotion (there's a Grazia Fashion Cupboard in select stores). Avon's up next (two pages) and O.P.I's ad leads into beauty and health director Lucinda Pitt's column on her age awakening.
  
• 'The new rules' is a four-page beauty feature (three hot looks to love this season – berry lips, golden eyes, satiny skin) with backstage shots, instructions and product suggestions; 'G!Rated' is Lucinda Pitt's pick of smoky eye makeup buys; 'The best beauty advice you'll ever get' is two pages of insider knowledge, again by Lucinda, which gives us the 411 on finding expert colourists, manicurists and facialists; and 'One wonderful find' is Giorgio Armani's Designer Modelling Compact Foundation ($94).

• The health feature is 'Busting the health myths!', which tackles 10 myths, such as 'you should stretch before you exercise' to 'wearing glasses makes your eyesight worse', which I found to be informative (lots of expert quotes) – possibly the best value feature so far.
• 'My name's Wendy and I'm a drunkorexic' is about a binge drinker who skips meals (get drunk and forget you're hungry!). Deeply disturbing, though I'm not one to judge women's unusual eating habits (I have a few of my own quirks!). A stark warning about getting into the weighing yourself game: "Now I weigh myself every morning. If I put on a few kilos I'm disappointed, but it soon comes off if I'm on a 'drinking, no food' day." Sadly, for many women, the mission is weight loss, not health, so our bodies suffer – the long-term health implications rarely get a look-in. Food for thought.
  
• In stark contrast, Matthew Evans' 'Out of the pantry' food column, in which he recounts 'five days in the life of the ultimate foodie', gives us reasons to be excited about eating. His writing is (for want of a better word) yummy. On his preparation of Granny Smith apples: "I core them from the top using a melon-baller... crack a few of autumn's walnuts... I push chunks of them into the apples' holes, add a dot of butter, then pile as much brown sugar on top as the apple will hold. What cascades to the tray mingles with juice from the apple and the occasional dribble of butter." Hungry yet? Evans also shares my love of Sirena Tuna in Oil, so now I admire him even more (foodie crush!). Possibly by favourite page so far. And it's followed by an ad for my chocolate of choice – Green & Black's Organic Dark Chocolate.

• The 'Well Travelled' page gives us five destinations to consider for cocktail hour, while 'My French Love Affair' is Collette Dinnigan's gastronomic/accommodation/spa recommendations written in 'Dear Grazia' letter format.
• 'Grazia Girls OS' is two pages of columns from the magazine's London and New York correspondents, Aussies Elizabeth Colman and Anna Johnson respectively. I enjoyed the escapism and visual pictures both writers painted. Good read.
  
• Catherine Martin (costume designer) gets five pages to take us through the opulent home she shares with husband Baz Luhrmann.
  
• 'See Watch Do' is a page of entertainment bits (two short film reviews; a festival to attend; and single TV, book, album, art and music reviews). This is followed by a two-page feature on The Dark Knight.
• 'Meet the BrIT Girls' is up next, which profiles the "new wave of brash young things who have taken over the clubs, A-list parties – and the headlines." The roll call includes Pixie Geldof, Peaches Geldof, Daisy Lowe, Agyness Deyn, Nathalie Press, Ben Grimes-Viort, Alice Dellal, Alexa Chung and Jaime Winstone.
• Promo pages and star signs round out the issue, with 'Oh goodie!' the last page ("each week we're giving away a stunning It bag jam-packed with luxe goodies!"), followed by an ad for Portmans and the Estee Lauder back cover.
  

All this leads me to ask, is Grazia necessary? Are we getting anything here we can't get elsewhere (blogs, mags, websites, newspapers...)? Is it strong enough to supplement some of our other magazine purchases? Could it become an 'only buy' for some women? Will I wait with desperation for it to land each Monday at my newsagency?

Grazia is essentially a blending of Shop Til You Drop, WHO weekly, Famous, OK!, the newspaper supplements (like Sunday magazine and Body & Soul) that I adore, and, perhaps, UK ELLE or Australia's own Harper's BAZAAR. As a committed magazine buyer/blogger, I'll be sticking with it for as long as my budget allows. Though I'm not overly excited by this debut issue, it definitely has the potential to be a weekly must-read.

At the moment, it seems to be servicing advertisers as much as wooing readers, which I don't think is safe. I'm in awe of the amazing team that has been pulled together to put the magazine out – some of Australia's best writing and styling talent – but the magazine seems to be lacking spark. Is it humour? Wit? Too many bland features? Too many sparse still-life pages? Too many first-person columns? Is it taking itself too seriously? Is it trying to be all things when all it really wants to do is go shopping and find a new lipstick?

I love the idea of a weekly magazine devoted entirely to the materialistic pastime of shopping and improving one's makeup bag and wardrobe, alongside some meaty features and celebrity gossip (a la Marie Claire), yet I'm left wanting. Quite simply, it doesn't inspire me to shop.

You know what I'd like to see? I never thought I'd say this, but more celebrity pictures (with accompanying still-life and/or style suggestions) – but this is, perhaps, because that's what I've come to expect from a weekly. I'd also love more bitsy/scrapbooky trend compilation pages, insider interviews (I'm a sucker for features where we get invited into the wardrobe of a chic woman), street style pictures (surely Sydney is fertile photography ground, in addition to NYC, Paris London and Rome), a page (or several) of chain-store must-haves (perhaps there could be three levels of must-haves: chain-store, designer, high-end designer), workwear suggestions/lunch-time buys (like UK ELLE), beauty looks to try for the week and fashion/shopping news, in addition to some escapism via the travel section express.

Overall excitement factor: 6
Feel-good factor: 4/5
Eye-candy rating: 3/4

Kudos to the team and looking forward to watching the Grazia evolution!

Yours truly,
Girl With a Satchel