Mags: The Glossips

The glossip world owes Angelina Jolie a debt of gratitude for the comments she made to German magazine Das Neue (owned by Bauer Media) back in December about her liberal views on fidelity. But if I were Linda Hogan (nee Kozlowski), I'd be far from impressed about the paparazzi pictures Woman's Day has used this week to illustrate 'The Love They Said Would Never Last'.

Despite the Day's kind assertion that Linda "still has those famous curves Hoges fell in love with 25 years ago", less flattering pictures of the 52-year-old actress in a black swimsuit (shot from behind, the side, front...!) they could not have found. Ditto for Jessica Simpson, who scored a beautiful full-page, double-chinned close up in NW this week along with the condemning headline "JESS COMFORT EATING AGAIN!"

According to a pal, Simpson has been consoling herself with food after boyfriend Billy Corgan blew her off over Christmas for family commitments in Chicago. "She's heard on the grapevine that Billy prefers skinny girls and now she's convinced he's losing interest in her because she's too heavy," says the pal. Still, at least Simpson isn't "Dying To Be Thin', like the late Brittany Murphy on the cover of Famous. Is there a happy weight medium in Hollywood?

Maybe, according to OK! editor Claire Isaac, who writes: "I've learnt over the years that while I think Kylie Minogue is hot, I will never be a tiny little person – all gamine and cute. I will also never be a flat-stomached supermodel a la my other girly crush, Kate Moss, or a long-limbed beauty like Diane Kruger or Charlize Theron. Therefore I am trying to be real this year. J.Lo has to work hard to be slim – her natural shape is big bum, curves and boobs... like a normal sort of woman, in other words!." Ah, glimpses of common sense amongst the new-year-diet-crazy glossip bunch.

Yours truly,
Girl With a Satchel