feminism front, gradually chipping away at glass ceilings like the polish on our pinkies (just this week, the Australian Productivity Commission finally put forward a recommendation for the provision of 18 weeks' Paid Maternity Leave – we're right up there with the US and Afghanistan when it comes to progress on this front), many women still prefer to work with men (though many won't admit it).There's just something about having a guy (or guys) in the office, and/or working under a male boss, that brings balance to an otherwise potentially acerbic femme fest. Ying and yang and all that – perhaps it has something to do with office feng shui?
It's for this same reason I like to balance my TV diet of Make Me a Supermodel, Oprah and The View (hey, I'm a freelancer – daytime TV is not off limits) with Top Gear and Two And a Half Men. It's why Friends and Seinfeld and Ugly Betty work so well (men, even gay ones + women = entertaining TV). It's also why I welcome, for the most part, male writers in women's magazines. While my narky feminist self is all, "Don't you have your own magazines to go home to? Bugger off!", another part warmly welcomes the male voice – particularly if they have positive, female-affirming things to say (I still maintain that UK Vogue's November 2007 issue story by GQ's Alex Blimes is one of the most positive body image stories I've read in a women's mag... and many a male writer has since followed in his footsteps).
Of course, men are very simple, "visual" (as we're always told) creatures whose self-esteem is
largely based on the amount of sex they get. They would rather see you in one of their old t-shirts than the $600 Zimmermann frock you forked out for (or is that just my guy?) and even after the age of 10 they believe loud, stinky farts to be the height of humour (or, again, is that just my guy?). Therefore, the 'If Men Edited Glamour' section of this issue is predictably based on the visual and the sexual, offering us 'This Is How They'd Dress You!' (four real women get made over by men), 'This is what they'd tell us about sex' ("When women make a noise it's erotic; when men do, it's embarrassing") and 'The hot-on-you style rules guys love' (cue gorgeous model slickly styled by Gossip Girl's Ed Westwick). However, the guys are also given the opportunity to reveal their more sensitive sides, with five writers penning personal accounts in 'What it feels like...' (to fall in love; to get dumped; to become a dad; to be cheated on; to propose), all of which I thoroughly enjoyed. But enough about men...The cover... For those not fami
liar with Kelly Brook, 28, she's a glamour model (popular with the boys for her appearances in lad mags FHM and Loaded and her voluptuous figure), page-three girl, C-grade actress, reality TV host (Dirty Dancing: The Time of Your Life) and one-time fiancee of Billy Zane. Usually her hair is stand-out, so what gives on the cover? The windswept mess is almost as bad as the dead ferret 'do Keira Knightley sported on the cover of US Vogue's September issue. Have all good hair stylists gone on strike – or is this a drab-is-fab British girl thing? The cover feature on Ms. Brook mostly talks about her relationships with men, and also her dad's battle with cancer. Nothing enlightening on the career front.The ed. says... "So, if men really edited Glamour, you would be treated to an (albeit very positive) obsession with your body... After last year's 'If Men Edited Glamour Issue' proved so popular with you all, we decided to treat you to it again."
The story lineup:
- 'Inside a celebrity divorce' takes us into the work lives of female celebrity divorce lawyers, one whom says, "Being in the public eye has usually made them vain. Throw into the mix that these people have incredibly fragile egos and just don't like hearing negative things about themselves at all, and from the outset you've got a very volatile situation on your hands." This is one job I could not do, no matter how good the remuneration. Kissing celebrity butt, meeting their insane demands at all hours and splitting their ridiculous assets would feel like selling your soul to the devil.
- I was surprised to find myself nodding in agreement throughout 'The (all new) Good Wife Guide', penned by Claudia Winkleman and John Perry. Essentially, the tried-and-tested successful partnerships rules haven't changed all that much since the original guide was published in 1955, though our attitudes certainly have (as if we're going to shut-up if something's irking us). Winkleman, who has been married for eight years, recommends we always be late, never cook (at least not all the time), turn your phone off, watch Top Gear (check!), be unpredictable, go away (if only for one weekend a year), be happy ("the more you smile, the luckier he will feel"), be confident, look nice ("just a bit of an effort makes men feel special") and be independent ("you must have your own life"). Sounds easy. It's not.
- 'Why did this supermodel kill herself' addresses the suicide death of Russian model Ruslana Korshunova in quite a bit of depth, with interviews with fellow and former models, friends, model agency reps and a clinical psychologist. Essentially, there were a number of factors that contributed to Korshunova's troubled state of mind and feeling of absolute desolation:
isolation, loneliness, a lack of family/friend support, youth, working in a superficial and often cruel industry, restricted calorie intake, constant criticism, excessive travel/tiredness and, of course, a predisposition towards depression. The poor girl was a ticking time bomb and nobody was the wiser. Models clearly need more support. - Celia Walden's lunch date with Peter Andre provides some jovial light entertainment. He is unashamedly simple and cheesy.
- 'Glamour's Little Book of Self-Esteem' has good intentions (fill in the self-esteem mantra; learn some positive self-talk; watch a girl-affirming film; think about your body differently; talk to yourself like a baby) but these stories are but a mini-Panadol antidote to the much larger portion of body-anxiety-inducing content devoted to gorgeous slim models in expensive clothes. I guess we can't have everything.
- Columnist Teri Hatcher writes home about "The most important lessons I've learnt in life", in which she wishes to convey all the things she'd like her daughter to know... unfortunately, Teri, no mother can mistake-proof her offspring. This month Hatcher is
condoning the use of an 'inspiration poster' to help you achieve what you want in life (hers features mantras such as 'Love yourself, so you can love others...', 'Build muscles', 'Don't eat after 7pm' and 'Dance like a teenager'), with the view that looking at certain images and reciting your affirmations will help you manifest what you want in life. I pray, but each to their own.
- The mag's popular 'Dos & Dont's' section leads in with 'The new style guard' (Blake Lively, Daisy Lowe, Pixie Geldof, Jaime Winstone, Leighton Meester and Agyness Deyn), gives us a page of celebs demonstrating 'How to wear the tux jacket' (put arms in holes) and rounds out with celebrities sporting denim jeans (Katie Holmes, of course) and vests (hello, Delta Goodrem and Emmy Rossum).
- 'Fast Glamour' ("One small buy, one giant hit of happy!") opens with a visual feast (or,
perhaps, in this case, snack) of mini-sized bags, which is followed by '33 ways to update your look' (which involves the purchasing of one of recommended items). - 'Bold lips are go!' screams the first beauty feature (choose from chic hot pink, sexy matte red and cool claret stain), which is followed by 'The new celebrity hair hall of fame' (Alexa Chung, Natalie Portman, Lily Allen, Marion Cotillard, Blake Lively and Leona Lewis all make the cut – ha ha), cocktail hour scents, two editorial pages spruking Estee Lauder's Sensuous scent, 'What's your winter face?' (four celebrity looks), '5 secrets of salon-sexy hair and 'Pretty in Japan' (a visual treat of cult Japanese product).
- Still-life fashion pages include 'You wear the trousers' (flares, skinny, wide-leg, cropped), '10 Great Coats' (so many styles to become acquanited with... the princess coat, the new military, the cool tartan, the bracelet sleeves...) and 'Tunic time' ("every girl's 'wear anywhere' best friend").
- The first main fashion spread, 'Brights that bang!' is 80s-style "pretty meets punk", with clothes by Topshop, Fornarina, Marc Jacobs, Sue Stemp, Armani Jeans, Miu Miu, Twenty8Twelve, McQ by Alexander McQueen, PPQ, See by Chloe, D&G and Stella McCartney. Awesome to see a black model (Atong @ Trump) featured.
- 'Glamour time anytime' is more whimsical, with sparkles, pretty frocks, ballet flats, cute cardigans and opaque tights mixed with tweed coats for a relaxed autumnal feel.
- 'The New Folk Laws' channels Sienna Miller, with floral blouses, shoe boots, vests, leather satchels, paisley prints and smokey eye makeup.
- The first main beauty feature is 'Superfresh vs Superdone' (think natural looks juxtaposed with fierce power pouts and smokey eyes). The shoot itself is followed by two pages of spills, swatches and still-life to help us achieve said looks with Glam-approved product. I'm a fan of these layouts.
- Next up is 'Good morning, great make-up!' which promises to "take you from bedroom to boardroom without so much as a hint of clumpy old mascara". We're encouraged to experiment with violet eyeliner (eek!), find the perfect foundation, wear lipstick like a French woman (apply as a stain) and apply blush in daylight to avoid looking garish.
Overall excitement factor: 7 out of 10
Feel-good factor: 5/6 out of 10
Eye-candy rating: 5
The stats:
Issue: October 2008
Book size: 354 pages
Cover price: US$5.50 (AUD$8.95)
FOB ads: Estee Lauder Sensuous, D&G, Armani Jeans, Clinique, Dior Iconic, Lancome Magnifique, Chanel, Just Cavalli, Fornarina, Delicious Night, Replay, Calvin Klein, Tommy Hilfiger Dreaming, Pinko, CK Secret Obsession, L'Oreal Paris...
Editor: Jo Elvin
Publisher: Conde Nast
Website: www.glamour.com
Yours truly,
Girl With a Satchel
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