Mags: Madison - let the brides beware

Unlike bridal magazines, which specialise in selling women ‘the fairy-tale’ (with stationery, bonboniere and perfume to match!), mainstream women’s glossies often inadvertently serve up their bridal specials alongside glaring ‘wake up and smell the coffee’ content, providing for some interesting, if not amusing, juxtapositions. It's kind of like having a piece of your wedding cake snatched from your hands by your mother-in-law. Or your own bastard Mr Big pulling a no-show. However, this issue of Madison is so visually inspiring (unlike Carrie's wedding dress and makeup; I'm sorry, but eww), I'm sure most brides will happily turn a blind eye.

To the juxtapositions...

We get a six-week bridal beauty countdown, 20 new wedding ideas and a tribute to Tiffany's (every girl's dream ring vendor), as well as a reminder from Madonna (whose ideal world is one in which she could "exercise for three hours a day"; not one in which there are no starving children?) that it takes a lot of hard work to maintain a marriage (her marriage is “an on-going struggle between two people who are both used to having their own way”). I like her honesty and can identify with her control freakiness and the problems this causes in a 'partnership' (“He can be intolerant of my behaviours, but he has certain personality traits that need to change as well”) but doubt the iconic Material Girl has truly softened her outlook on life (as indicated by her hard-candy body), as she would claim: “I’ve always been very comfortable with my masculine side – the confidence, the ballsiness. I’ve learned to be more pliant, more vulnerable – and to be comfortable with that." Marital role model or just selfishly ambitious (albeit fabulous) Madge? I do wonder how the dynamic in a relationship where the woman is waaaay more famous/accomplished/ballsy would work – are there just some people/celebrities for whom there is no perfect match (hello, George Clooney – now there's one for Madge!)?

Enjoy the whimsical glimpse into three quite spectacular real-life weddings (‘Love in black & white’, ‘A cultural exchange’ and ‘Garden Party’), get inspiration for your hen's party/bridesmaid gifts/vows and salivate over the recipes in the 'Silver Service Reception' layout (pink lychini, potato rosti with caviar and creme fraiche, meringue roulade with raspberries and rosewater cream), then come back to Planet This Is Not a Disney Film with Wendy Squires’ story ‘Would more money improve your sex life?’. Apparently, a low libido is relative to a low bank balance (Madge's must be through the roof!) but, as we’re reminded time and time again, money can’t necessarily buy you happiness… so don’t stress if your wedding catering bill means you won’t be paying off that mortgage until 2067.


Tropical honeymoon locations where you and your new husband can de-stress after your wedding day provide respite from ‘Hell Hath No Fury Like a Cyber-Savvy Woman Scorned’, a piece by David Smiedt examining the ugly side of YouTube and internet sites through which real relationships turned sour are available Big-Brother/Judge Judy/Ricki-Lake style for public consumption. Apparently, venting your anger online is more effective than pasting flyers condemning your cheating/lying/dumping ex to flag-poles ala Samantha Jones. There’s nothing quite so tacky as making your own life tabloid fodder (says the blogger).

The etiquette feature, ‘My Fair Lady’, by Kerrie Davies and Alexandra Carlton (cue picture of Audrey Hepburn) is perhaps more fairy-tale friendly, though we're reminded that the finishing school of 2008 is very much tied to a world where reality TV has regrettably given some (undeserving) people more than their 15 minutes. The writers attend the Star One Academy in Sydney (seven-week course: $1200; one-off workshop $300), co-run by Yvonne Tozzi (Sydney social identity, former model, mother of the very paparazzi-lens-friendly Tahyna and Cheyenne – young women who’ve both acquired their fair share of fame thanks to their modeling endeavours – Cheyenne appeared on a Harper’s Bazaar cover aged 13 – and controversial relationships with the likes of Bra Boy Koby Abberton and Hollywood bad boy Brandon Davis). At Star One the writers meet women wanting to establish, or re-establish, their identities (one post-divorce – a reminder for future brides that maintaining a sense of self in your marriage is tres important) and acquire self-confidence, which will ultimately help them to create their ‘brand’ and meet modern life’s high expectations:

“Many people think a personal brand is focusing on the outside image or looking good, but strong personal brands are built from the inside,” says Therese Beaumont of Star One. “Substance, not image, is the foundation of a strong personal brand… Do things to keep improving yourself – from the foods you eat, changing your hair to a better colour, doing a course – anything that ‘adds value’ to your image.” Equally good advice for single professionals as for marrieds wanting to keep their relationships from going stale – though constantly 'adding value' to your image sounds like a tiresome way to live (some days he's just going to have to accept you in your tracksuit pants).

The retrospective denim special is a visual treat, with iconic images aplenty (Brooke Shields for Calvin Klein, Jean Seberg in denim and stripes, Farrah kicking it with her flick and flares), while the eight-page ‘Profile’ story on radio trio Merrick, Rosso and Kate Ritchie, and accompanying old-school photo shoot (for me it references The Black Dahlia or perhaps the Russel Crowe flick L.A. Confidential) may help their ratings somewhat, while also giving us insight into their own relationships (both guys are married to PR girls, while Kate is single but dating) and their (questionably?) maturing sensibilities. That said, rumours abound that the trio is floundering, with Kate appearing on the cover of New Idea this week alongside the cover line: “I want my old life back”. Like a marriage gone horribly wrong!

Fashion serves up that ubiquitous Proenza Schouler shot (the same one appears in Shop Til You Drop this month), followed by Style News (tulle is in), styling inspired by Alexander Wang (again ubiquitous – we are all agreeing his laid-back look translates well for the Australian market?), three ways to look luxurious (loving all the pieces selected), '50s trends with a summery vibe (I’m still wearing uggs), quickly followed by a ‘Snow Patrol’ page and the ‘Pretty Baby’ denim shoot I am absolutely obsessed with (though, as one GWAS reader noted, pale denim is notoriously hard to style – and denim-on-denim just looks wrong... unless you are a model on a Madison shoot).

‘Jump to it’ is all about party dresses and stand-out chunky, clunky, colourful shoes, while ‘The hot list’ is one of those standard studio shoots covering all the major trends (military buckle detail, quintessential man style, ladylike, the perfect trench, the print dress, the must-have shirt dress, the classic white shirt, nautical). I am loving the entire fashion section. Let's go shopping!
Beauty gives us a nail feature (perfect your polish!), a teeth whitening feature (make 'em pearly white), two pages on Project Runway promoting TRESemme product, and six pages for achieving ‘photo shoot perfect hair’ (I really quite enjoyed this – lots of insider tips as well as reminders that it takes a lot of work to get model hair looking just so). The main health feature is ‘Why am I so exhausted?’ by Alice Brudenell-Bruce, who suffers from thyroidism (it took her a year to be diagnosed, during which she felt uncomfortably fat, fatigued and flat – how I feel at least once a month!). Apparently the condition affects one in 14 Australian women under 50 and one in seven over 50.

The issue rounds out with a wedding special page devoted to Carla Bruni, who once was quoted as saying “Monogomy bores me terribly.”

Caveat emptor: let the brides beware.

Overall excitement factor: 8
Feel-good factor: 5/6
Eye-candy rating: 4/5

The Stats
Issue: August 2008
Book size: 218 pages
Inside front cover: L'Oreal
Back cover: Citroen
FOB ads: Elizabeth Arden, Clinique, Gucci, Cartier, Ralph Lauren...
Editor: Paula Joye
Publisher: ACP Magazines/PBL Media
Website: madisonmag.com.au

Yours truly,
Girl With a Satchel