Dear Vogue, Where did the celebs go?

If you were disappointed by the lack of fanfare surrounding the Golden Globes, and all the usual red-carpet celebrity spotting, then you'll get very little enjoyment from this month's Vogue Australia. Because, like the Globes, it's almost completely devoid of celebrities, save for a small cameo by Keira Knightley on a page surrounded by models.

While I'm not a fan of the celebrity media machine – particularly the tabloid witch-hunting of certain blonde singers – and elevating people with very little talent to cult status on account of their ability to dress well/court the paparazzi, I'm so accustomed to seeing the likes of Scarlett, Kate, Mischa, Diane, Chloe, Mary-Kate, Rachel and Gwyneth in my glossies that I feel like a dear friend has moved away. And in her place are a bunch of freakishly tall, thin, pretty, young models, like Lily Donaldson, to whom eight pages are dedicated in this month's issue (care of UK Vogue: credit must go to writer Daisy Garnett for creating two pages of text around someone who's not particularly interesting and, apparently, inarticulate – granted, the lithesome Lily is only 20 years old and left school aged 16). The trouble is, this new breed of supermodel, with the exception, perhaps, of Agyness Deyn, who appears to have a personality, is dead boring. And, unfortunately, that's how I feel about this edition of Vogue.

In a subtle nod to the magazine's association with Australia's Next Top Model, editor-in-chief Kirstie Clements "can't think of a time when there have been more beautiful Australian girls than we are seeing at the moment". She lists international success stories Gemma Ward, Nicole Trunfio, Alyssa Sutherland, Miranda Kerr, Catherine McNeil and cover model Jessica Hart (she can now add Abbey Lee Kershaw to that list), and also name-drops New Zealander Katie Braatvedt, who features in one of the month's fashion shoots. Let's hope Abbey gets the same enthusiastic editorial treatment that Miranda did in the magazine's January issue (or the same cover status that Catherine McNeil garnered from Vogue Paris or Hart gets this month, despite looking like she needs a good scrub with a loofah) sometime soon.

Vogue has a lot to compete with this month – Harper's Bazaar has gone to town with its 10th anniversary issue, Marie Claire has produced a strong and relevant March issue and serious fashion-forward ladies, presumably some of whom buy the magazine, will be previewing the autumn/winter ready-to-wear shows online rather than immersing themselves in pages of spring-inspired looks they've seen a million times before while planning their autumn/winter purchases. Still, the issue does come with freebie DVD Largerfeld Confidential and there are some rare editorial gems to behold...

'The Money Trap' by Melissa Deitz examines the somewhat strained relationship between women and money (we're like Paul McCartney and Heather Mills... only way poorer). "Recent research suggesting young women are not reliable managers of money comes as no surprise," writes Deitz, "But commentators who seek to brand all women as 'money dummies', as one newspaper headline put it, rarely take into account the economic and cultural shifts that affect us." Touché! It's only since the Industrial Revolution, after all, that we've been allowed out of our homes to work (though, of course, not for the same wages as men).

Unsurprisingly, says Deitz, BT Financial found that "the majority of young women would rather save for fashion items than retirement", while Citibank found women lag behind men in financial know-how. Deitz goes on to slam us with the statistics (read 'em and weep): "The Association of Superannuation Funds of Australia estimates the average retirement payouts in 2006 were $130,000 for men and just $45,000 for women, while a survey of 500 women by marketing group Heat found that almost 80 per cent of women have no idea how much super they have, or how much cash they need to maintain a modest lifestyle when they retire."

It appears many women are relying Anna-Nicole-Smith-style on their partners for financial security, as they hand over their credit cards with barely a second thought (other than, 'I hope I'm not over my limit'), though, to be fair, we're also (still!) majorly socially, culturally and historically disadvantaged, which is not, like, our fault: "women are more likely to be in part-time work, and their salaries are still behind those of their male colleagues, they generally spend less time in the workforce and are less likely to be paid overtime," says Deitz, before quoting Virgina Woolf: "Women have always been poor, not for two hundred years merely, but from the beginning of time." Plus, says Deitz, society reinforces the stereotype that we're hopeless with money (so, we're really just playing to type!).

Still, with the rate of marriage down and divorce up, a girl needs some financial security of her own (a wardrobe of pricey garments offers a different kind of security). The problem, Annette Sampson, author of Get Set by 30, tells Deitz, is women lack confidence, not necessarily financial nous or cold hard cash: "Once a woman commits to a mortgage she becomes very good with finances... it's just that question of what it is that makes them become interested in money." Um, shoes?! Apparently yes: "Young men spend money on things they can't afford, but I think with women it's more obvious because a lot of it is clothes and shoes, that sort of very conspicuous consumption."

After quoting Coco Chanel, Deitz concludes by asking "Is it liberated to spend beyond our means?" to which author/jouno Emma Tom replies: "my mortgage is part of my politics. It represents financial liberation, the knowledge that I don't have to try to find some rich bloke to look after me because I can do it for myself."

While I'm financially inept, spending the most part of my adult income on clothes, beautification and travel, one friend of mine saved $50k on her own, in five years, on a relatively shitty wage (while living at home on and off), while two others, aged 25/26, have bought their own properties), which kind of shows female wage earners are split between the haves and have-nots... and if we don't have financial security, it's kind of our fault. Actually, I blame Sex and the City!

The magazine dedicates its front-of-book fashion pages to graphic and paisley prints, tie-dye, hats, floor-length dresses, tapered pants and jackets. Peter Som gets a single page, while Louis Vuitton's spring/summer '08 show gets two (I love the pictures of the model line-up and the gorgeous shoes) and Fendi's white canvass Baguette flies solo. Predictably, there are eight pages dedicated to breaking down the trends from the spring/summer catwalks, while a further eight pages are dedicated to accessories trends, which makes for a good point of difference.

Suzanne Walker's 'Grace notes' feature takes us to ballet class. Her favourite part of the assignment is possibly purchasing her pink practise slippers from the shop: very Vogue! I'm not sure how the Fame and Flashdance DVDs she watched for inspiration might have got her into a Margo Fonteyn mindset (the accompanying pictures from the films are in stark contrast to the holding shot of point shoes – we're talking two different genres of dance, people). The appeal of doing ballet, she finds, is in losing yourself (and your cluttered, busy mind) in the movement of the moment. Great timing with So You Think You Can Dance winning the ratings.

'Quiet achiever' by Clare Press examines Bulgari's understated accessories business (exciting for some, I'm sure) and the opening of its dedicated store in Rome, while the 'Vogue Talks' section opens with four pages dedicated to glamorous women doing the eco thing, including Sheherazade Goldsmith (Jemima Khan's author sister-in-law), Katie Patrick of Green Pages Australia, model Angela Lindvall (founder of Collage), Tanya Ha (environmentalist/author), author Tamsin Blanchard, model Hana Soukupova and Leslie Hoffman of Earth Pledge.
In 'Scene' we learn that model Candice Lake likes to take her own picture and fashionable French band Nouvelle are touring Australia in Feb/March (Sydney, Melbourne, Perth), while Feist gets a page, along with a piece on Gallic pop, and The Gossip's Beth Ditto scores herself a Q&A. Jo Chichester reviews Margot at the Wedding (she's not a fan of Nicole Kidman's acting but concedes that in this film "she has at last stopped acting and found the humanity to inhabit such a difficult character") and Things We Lost In The Fire ("an emotionally exhausting story that will for many feel far too sad to contemplate").

Going Gray (which has, to date, garnered a lot of editorial interest) gets a spot in the Beauty section, as do pieces on ageing gracefully ("how much is too much?"), new trends in hair and makeup, perfume and beauty products that work hard for their mummy ("Mother's little helpers"). The jet-set share their Fashion Week beauty tips (health retreats, berries, holistic medicine), while Michelle Rainer writes about 'the acne diet', which focuses on the link between high-GI diets and breakouts and disses the pretty much obsolete concept that your diet doesn't affect your skin (eat pizza; get pizza face). I believe (as a former beauty ed) that anti-inflammatory foods, like salmon, and eating a nutritious diet, including plenty of water, can definitely help to heal bad skin, though genetics can't be overcome with a serving of fish alone. Further on, beauty editor Alexandra Spring finds the key to happiness: the Golden Door Health Retreat, which has partnered with The Happiness Institute to create a weekend away for the partially miserable (if you're way miserable, see a shrink) and super-happiness-seeking (how much happiness does one really need – gosh we're a greedy bunch?).
The fashion pages give us Natalia Vodianova in spring's key trends, shot by Steven Meisel from US Vogue's January issue, the quirky-cute (think Olsen) 'Playing Around' shot by Max Doyle and styled by Naomi Smith (Herringbone, Lover, Gucci, Paul & Joe, Miu Miu, Prada, Louis Vuitton and Chanel pieces feature), Jessica Hart in Gucci dresses (shot by Richard Bailey), Lily Donaldson and the accompanying profile piece (her life and demeanour are enviably laissez faire: she "remains largely unaffected" by the fashion industry: "I don't think about the future really," she says) and 'Right Angles', shot by Troyt Coburn and styled by Victoria Collison (cue expensive fitted suiting) .



I obviously read far too many magazines, and read a lot of content online, making most of the content I read in Australian Vogue seem outdated and derivative, though I still get enjoyment from reading the features, as narcissistic and inward-focused as they may be. I'd like to see Vogue do something amazing some time soon – I feel it needs an injection of something brilliant... and preferably not from one of its overseas counterparts. Oh, and a little celebrity wouldn't go astray, either.

Overall excitement factor: 3/4
Feel-good factor: 3
Eye-candy factor: 3 (though I really like 'Playing Around')

The Stats
Issue: March 2008
Book size: 242 pages
Cover price: $7.95 AUD
Inside front cover: Louis Vuitton
Back cover: Tag Heuer
Front-of-book ads: Estee Lauder, Ralph Lauren, Hugo Boss, Giorgio Armani, Jimmy Choo, Chanel, Fendi, Dior, Paspaley, Tiffany & Co., Gucci, Escada...
Editor-in-chief: Kirstie Clements
Publisher: News Magazines
Website: www.vogue.com.au

Yours truly,
Girl With a Satchel